“Trust is built in very small moments”– Brené Brown, Professor, Lecturer and Motivational Speaker
Do you trust yourself?
Have a think about trust when:
We promise to start the diet on Monday...and then don’t.
When we say that we will go out for a walk...and then don’t.
When we think that this is the last binge...and then it isn’t.
Often we think of these things as having consequences for our physical health but we don’t consider the impact in terms of trust.
When we trust someone we feel safe. Often we do things when other people rely on us or we have made a commitment to them. How about when we have made a commitment to ourselves, like with the examples above? Are we as likely to keep that trust?
With lots of broken promises to ourselves, we can easily get in a situation where we don’t trust ourselves and we don’t feel safe in our own mind. This can lead to feeling constantly on edge, which is often a bingeing trigger.
Take home message: Building self-trust can stop bingeing.
Self-trust helps you feel safe in your own mind. Feeling safe, means we are more likely to use our logical brain and make healthy food decisions. We usually don’t binge when we feel safe and calm.
By building self-trust in lots of aspects of life, we can ease bingeing without even focusing on it, which can also make for a refreshing change when food is on our minds a lot.
Self-trust applies to all aspects of life. Below are some tips to build trust in yourself.
Practice: Tips to build self-trust
1. Avoid people who undermine your self-trust. If you feel bad about yourself around people, think about whether you can spend less time with them.
2. Keep your promises to yourself, practice with small things like making a cup of tea when you say you will or having a break from work when you say you will. If you say you will have a lunch break, then do so. This goes with making manageable lists and realistic plans. If you are a fan of plans and lists, try making a list and then halving it.
3. Speak kindly to yourself, like you would to a friend. If someone keeps telling you off, or saying you are not good enough, how safe would you feel with them? The same applies within our own minds.
4. Spend time with yourself, trust is built as you get to know someone.
5. Have honest conversations with yourself. If you have angel and devil voices telling you to eat healthy and binge, can you let them find their common ground? They are both trying to help you, but in different ways.
6. Practice gratitude for yourself. Try to think of at least one new thing every day that you like about yourself and write it down.
7. Only use mirrors for self-acceptance. Make a commitment to only look in the mirror if you are going to use it to think of something you accept about yourself.
I specialise in eating disorders and have 17 years’ experience as a behaviour change and obesity prevention scientist at Cambridge University. I’ve been there and I get it, and now support people with binge eating, emotional eating, weight loss struggles, and bulimia.
I help clients discover and take charge of their hidden eating triggers and transform their relationship with food. Sessions often focus on getting freedom from constant thoughts about food and weight and escaping the cycle of yo-yo dieting and weight gain. Gain understanding about what has prevented you from recovery in the past so you can overcome that, and live life without restriction or bingeing.
I combine counselling, to understand and overcome emotional barriers, with the strategies and tools of health coaching. The combination of counselling and coaching is powerful for making lasting change.
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Dr Kirsten Keighley
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Dr Kirsten Keighley Ltd is a registered company in England and Wales (Company number 12673809).
The information in this website is not intended as medical advice. It is intended as sharing of knowledge and information from the research and experience of Dr Kirsten Keighley on behalf of Dr Kirsten Keighley Ltd. We recommend you make your own health decisions based on your own research and consultation with a qualified health professional. We recommend that you consult your and your child’s doctor and/or dietician before beginning a new diet or exercise programme.